Two Years, One Journey: Reflection on Learning, Sacrifice, and Growth at UIII

Two Years, One Journey: Reflection on Learning, Sacrifice, and Growth at UIII

by Sheu-Tijani Aminu Opeyemi

Batch 4 MA in Education @ Universitas Islam Internasional Indonesia

 

The completion of master’s program marks an important milestone in my academic career. From the beginning, when I received the news of my admission to Universitas Islam Internasional Indonesia (UIII) on a scholarship, I felt a mixture of nervousness, curiosity, and joy for the chance to continue my academic pursuit, after having taken a break from formal study for several years. This opportunity was particularly meaningful to me as it came after several earlier, unsuccessful efforts to secure a scholarship. My nervousness stemmed from uncertainty about what to expect, how to meet the expectations of my esteemed host university, how to navigate a new environment where I would learn alongside individuals from diverse contexts and backgrounds as well as the reality of leaving family behind for two years.

Upon arriving at UIII on 31 October 2024, I was eager to start my studies, interact with new colleagues and experience Indonesia’s culturally and religiously diverse environment. One of my first notable experiences was a sightseeing trip to Jakarta planned by my newly met course mates. This experience gradually eased my initial nervousness as I began to feel the geniality, hospitality and embracing nature of the host community particularly the Indonesian people.

Beyond this sightseeing experience, my encounters with amiable lecturers in my programme of study, the administrative staff of the faculty, and the wider university community created a profound and positive impression on me. Unlike my Bachelor experience, which was largely focused on coursework; my study at UIII introduced me to a more research-oriented approach to graduate education. The lecturers devotedly guided us towards becoming academic researchers by focusing our attention on academic writing, educational principles and theories and research methodologies. From the outset, courses in research writing, Wasatiyyah, qualitative and quantitative methods, psychology and philosophy of education broadened my understanding of education and strengthened my foundation for academic inquiry.

By the time I completed my first year, I had become increasingly appreciative of the rare opportunity to learn and grow academically in such an intellectually enriched setting. I was particularly inspired by the grace to learn from highly accomplished academicians many of whom had obtained their doctoral degrees from renowned universities abroad. Their diverse expertise, perspectives, and commitment to inclusive teaching significantly enriched my learning experience. The lectures were thoughtfully structured to accommodate our diverse backgrounds, allowing us to engage in discussions and exchange ideas through the lenses of different cultures and countries of origin. This experience taught me that diversity is not merely a feature of an international university; it is itself a valuable source of learning.

At this stage, even though I did not yet consider myself a scholarly contributor, I could evidently see and appreciate how my research knowledge and skills were developing in a gradual process. I became increasingly hopeful that, with continued learning, practice, and dedication, I would eventually be able to make meaningful contributions to knowledge production. I came to appreciate this development even more as I began considering an appropriate topic for my thesis. Initially the prospect of developing and completing a thesis seemed to be a considerable challenge and a source of pressure. However, the knowledge and skills I acquired through coursework in identifying research gaps, formulating research problems, systematically reviewing the literature, and applying the right research approaches positioned me to undertake the assignment with a greater sense of confidence. Together with the additional concentration courses I undertook alongside the core courses, this training enabled me to transform what initially seemed like a daunting task into a more manageable academic endeavour.

During this period, the university also provided me and some of my colleagues with the opportunity to apply our learning through an internship program in different academic institutions. I provided administrative and academic support to senior staff, which allowed me to connect some of the knowledge gained in the classroom with practical experiences within an educational institution. The experience further broadened my understanding of how academic and administrative responsibilities work together to support the effective functioning of educational institutions.

Beyond this academic experience, my time in Indonesia has also shaped my understanding of how hospitality, dedication, commitment, and institutional responsibility can contribute to organisational and national development. Observing how different units within the university worked together to ensure its smooth functioning gave me a deeper appreciation of cooperation and collective responsibility. The relationships and my daily interactions outside the academic setting offered a worthwhile experience. Personal observations and conversations with the people of Indonesia increased my appreciation of the country and its people. In many aspects I have felt welcomed and relaxed in Indonesia, and this has made it feel more like I have come here to build relationships and create memories in a real way, than just to study for a degree programme only. I am very thankful for the opportunity to experience this part of Indonesia life; I hope my relationship with Indonesia and the people will not stop after my graduation.

The two-year journey has not been easy, however. It was tough to be away from my family, my wife and four children for so long. These experiences have helped me to appreciate the wisdom that comes from the Qur'anic Guidance regarding family and dwellings, “Askinuhunna min haythu sakantum”— “Lodge them where you dwell” (Qur'an 65:6). The experience was a reminder to me how valuable family is and how much of a sacrifice it is to pursue knowledge.

In retrospect, I thank God for His grace and strength to get through to the end. I am equally grateful to UIII, my lecturers, colleagues, and host community for creating an environment where I felt safe, welcomed and supported. I found their kindness transforming what seemed a daunting journey to one of the most important of my academic and personal growth.

A journey of a thousand miles is said to begin with a single step. My experience at UIII was a journey of uncertainty that culminated in gratitude, growth, and a redefined purpose. I am leaving this programme not only with a master’s degree but also sound research skills, intellectual depths, and strong relationships. Most importantly, I take with me my renewed dedication to put what I learned into practice for the benefit of education and society.

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by Bambang Sumintono

From a Course Assignment to Publication: My Experience with PISA 2022 Data

From a Course Assignment to Publication: My Experience with PISA 2022 Data

By Dwi Oktariani

When I entered the Graduate Seminar on Large-Scale Assessment course in the second semester of my doctoral study at the Faculty of Education, Universitas Islam Internasional Indonesia (UIII), I never imagined that the final assignment from the course would lead me to a publication in a reputable international journal. The course, taught by Bambang Sumintono, Ph.D., was a continuation of Advanced Educational Assessment, which had previously started to introduce me to the world of assessment and education measurement.

My academic background is in performing arts education, especially dance. Before starting my doctoral study, most of my research and practice were closely connected to arts and communities. I teach traditional dance at Universitas Tanjungpura, work as an arts practitioner, do choreography and performances, and conduct research on indigenous communities in West Kalimantan. The research world that I knew was very close to people, movement, tradition, and cultural practices. Data involving thousands of respondents, statistical analysis, SPSS, and especially large-scale assessment felt like a world very far from me.

My more serious encounter with quantitative approaches actually began at UIII. In the assessment course, I started learning about the Rasch Model and how to use Winsteps software. I began to understand how the quality of an item is examined and how assessment can produce accountable information. This experience slowly broadened the way I viewed educational research and showed me that there were still many areas outside the field I had been working in that I needed to learn.

A more challenging journey began when PISA was introduced in the Graduate Seminar on Large-Scale Assessment course. For the midterm assignment, I critically examined large-scale assessment practices and began questioning the relatively limited position of the arts in that discussion. I then carried this interest into my final assignment. I wanted to know whether a dataset as large as PISA could actually “speak” about the arts. From this simple question, I started developing a study on gender differences in affective engagement, creativity belief through the arts, and Indonesian students’ participation in school-based arts activities using PISA 2022 data.

The process was much more difficult than I expected. I had never used SPSS before, let alone worked with large-scale secondary data. From the thousands of data available through the OECD, I chose the Indonesian data because of my own curiosity: what does PISA actually look like when we focus on Indonesian students? I started looking for the questions given to students, understanding the code for each item, identifying relevant variables, and selecting data that could be used in the study. At that stage, the more I searched, the more I felt that I did not know enough. I even visited the libraries at UPI and UNY to look for previous studies that connected PISA with arts education. However, I did not find any study that was exactly the same as what I wanted to do. I also studied the work of senior students who had used PISA data to understand how such data could be developed into an article for a Scopus-indexed journal.

The more I read, the broader the problem became, and the more difficult it was for me to keep the study focused. At the same time, the final assignment deadline was getting closer. I was tired, but stopping was not an option. In the end, I returned to something I understood best: the arts. I went through the PISA 2022 questions again and finally selected seven items related to affective engagement, creativity belief, and participation in visual arts, music, and theatre.

I also did not go through this learning process alone. My classmates became an important part of the journey. Munaya helped me a lot in learning how to do data cleaning, something that was completely new to me at the time. Mbak Nofi and Pak Umam kept encouraging me when I felt overwhelmed by the secondary data. In class, the lecturer also continued to show us different examples of academic articles that we could study as references when developing our final assignments. From this experience, I realized that learning at the doctoral level also grows through asking questions, trying, making mistakes, discussing, and helping one another.

Eventually, the final assignment was completed. The results showed that female students had higher affective engagement with the arts, while male students reported a higher frequency of participation in several school-based arts activities. For me, these findings were not only statistical results. I started to see how large-scale data could offer another perspective on issues in arts education that I had previously understood mainly through practice, observation, and field experience.

After the final grade was released, I did something that was actually quite spontaneous. I tried submitting the paper to Asian Education and Development Studies (AEDS), Emerald, a Scopus Q2 journal. I did not even make major changes. The manuscript I submitted was basically the final assignment from the course. It was also my first experience creating an Emerald account and trying the submission process to an international journal by myself.

When I received the news that the manuscript had passed the initial stage and entered the review process, I was actually confused about how I should react. I sent the review decision to the lecturer and asked what it meant because at that time I still did not fully understand how publication in a Scopus journal worked. He congratulated me and encouraged me to begin “navigating” the reviewer revisions. That phrase turned out to be quite an accurate description of what happened over almost the following year.

The review process became another learning space for me. At one stage, I was very happy when one reviewer gave a minor revision. However, in the next round, I was faced again with a major revision. The manuscript eventually went through several rounds of revision before it was accepted. Even near the end, issues related to consistency of terms, punctuation, number formatting, and proofreading still brought me back to another revision.

Part of this process took place during a very personal period in my life because I was going through childbirth. My concentration was certainly not always at its best. Strangely, however, I do not remember the revision process as an unpleasant experience. I actually enjoyed it. Every reviewer comment showed me a part of my own writing that I had not noticed before. A manuscript that I initially considered only a course assignment slowly became a much more mature piece of work.

The experience of being a single author also left its own impression on me. I handled the entire process myself, from submission, reading and responding to reviewer comments, reanalyzing the data when necessary, revising the manuscript, to communicating with the editorial team. There was freedom in it, but also full responsibility. That was exactly what made the experience enjoyable. I could directly see how my ability developed from one version of the manuscript to the next.

In the end, the article, “Gender Differences in Affective Engagement, Creativity Belief Through the Arts, and Participation in School-Based Arts Activities: Evidence from PISA 2022 Indonesia,” was accepted and published in Asian Education and Development Studies. I still love traditional dance, indigenous communities, and research that allows me to meet people directly and engage with their cultural practices. Learning about PISA and quantitative research simply gave me another way to look at arts education. I now understand that issues in the arts can be read through community stories and teachers’ experiences, but they can also be explored through thousands of student responses in an international dataset.

For this reason, I am very grateful to the lecturer, who, through the Graduate Seminar on Large-Scale Assessment course, opened a door to a research area that I had never imagined I would enter. Thank you for the publication examples, experiences, and encouragement that were always shared with us in class. I am also grateful to my classmates who became part of this learning process, especially Munaya, Mbak Nofi, and Pak Umam. This experience made me understand that a course assignment at the doctoral level does not have to end when a grade has been given. For me, perhaps this is the most valuable meaning of the journey: learning does not always make us feel more comfortable. Sometimes, learning takes us into unfamiliar territory, makes us feel many times that we do not know enough, and then slowly expands the boundaries of what we think we are capable of doing as researchers.

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by Bambang Sumintono

BIPA: Bridges of Language, Gardens of Heart

BIPA: Bridges of Language, Gardens of Heart

by Ramli

 

Learning foreign language always a challenge for everybody, not easy and full of surprise. In addition, teaching foreign language even more challenging. Usually, I began with a book of rules and a promise to teach sounds, tenses, and neat sentences. Soon the room refused to be a textbook. It folded itself into a shelter where voices found courage and small triumphs sprouted like green shoots after rain. Teaching Indonesian was supposed to be a craft; instead, it became a quiet liturgy of belonging. We learned through touch and taste. In roleplays, the clatter of imagined markets turned into music; bargaining for a mango felt like learning a heartbeat. The language slipped into palms and plates when we cooked together, each spice a new word, each recipe a story carried across oceans. Walking the neighborhood, directions became poems of streets and storefronts, and the city itself read lessons aloud. These practices made the language a living thing not an abstract code but a breath shared between people.

 

They brought their worlds with them: lullabies, proverbs, bows, handshakes, meals wrapped in leaves, and jokes that landed with a warmth I could feel. When a student taught us a greeting from his village, the syllables hung in the air like offerings; when another shared a proverb with no Indonesian twin, we leaned closer to listen. Those moments braided our differences into a single tapestry. Mistakes were no longer failures but invitations faint footsteps toward each other.

There were days when silence lived in our circle. Homesickness sat like a weight at the back of a chair; anxiety hovered in hesitant responses. We learned to name those shadows gently. A short check-in, a shared cup of tea, a hand on a shoulder small ritual that said, I see you, you are seen. The classroom’s warmth was not accidental; it was built of countless tiny mercies. Inclusion became a poem of actions: subtitles and storyboards, paired voices that balanced one another, tasks that let the quietest hands speak through images. Sometimes they taught me. They corrected my pronunciation with laughter that felt more like love than correction. They fed me food whose flavors mapped to childhoods, and they offered words from tongues I could not yet speak. Those gifts unstitched the old teacher-student seam and rewove it into companionship. I brought grammar and structure; they returned maps of resilience and new ways to look at the world. Their stories of leaving, of longing, of stubborn hope shaped the classroom’s true curriculum.

I discovered that teaching is not merely giving knowledge but tending tender things. It asks patience like sunlight asks the morning. It asks presence: staying after class to listen, asking a hesitant student to tell one more sentence, celebrating mispronunciations as proof of trying. These actions, simple and human, taught the students and taught me how to be a better keeper of those fragile beginnings. When they began to speak with ease, it felt less like perfunctory success and more like watching a chorus learn a new song. Their laughter, their corrected mistakes, their shared festivities these were the harvest. They left with vocabulary, yes, but also with new roots planted in a place that once felt foreign. I left with a heart fuller and softer, heavy with gratitude for being allowed in their journeys.

BIPA became a doorway and a hearth. Language built the threshold; compassion kept the light inside. In teaching Indonesian, I discovered that education is at its most human when it is a shared passage home.

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by Bambang Sumintono

Beyond the Conference: Finding My Academic Home at HERDSA 2026

Beyond the Conference: Finding My Academic Home at HERDSA 2026

By Muhammad Maulana

Attending the Higher Education Research and Development Society of Australasia (HERDSA) Annual Conference 2026 at the National University of Singapore (NUS), together with the TATAL (Talking About Teaching and Learning) Pre-Conference Workshop, has been one of the most transformative experiences of my academic journey.

With nearly 1,000 participants from across the world, it was the largest international conference I have ever attended. Yet, what made the experience unforgettable was not its scale, but the people. I found myself surrounded by educators, researchers, academic developers, and leaders who shared a genuine commitment to improving higher education. They were not competing for recognition; they were learning from one another. Conversations were filled with curiosity, generosity, and a shared belief that better universities are built through collaboration rather than competition.

As someone who had only recently completed a master's degree, I initially wondered whether I truly belonged in such a community. Surrounded by professors, experienced scholars, and educational leaders, I felt like the least experienced person in many rooms. However, those feelings quickly disappeared. What I encountered instead was extraordinary humility. People listened, encouraged, and generously shared their ideas regardless of academic titles or career stages. It reminded me that academic excellence is measured not only by what we know, but also by our willingness to help others grow.

One of the most meaningful parts of the conference was participating in the TATAL Pre-Conference Workshop. Throughout the workshop, we were invited to reflect on a simple but profound question: What is the fundamental purpose of teaching? That question stayed with me long after the workshop ended.

As I reflected, I realized that I see educators as mountain guides. A mountain guide cannot climb the mountain for others. Instead, they prepare, support, encourage, and guide people through difficult paths. The journey remains challenging because growth cannot be outsourced. Learning requires effort, perseverance, and resilience. Yet, when students finally reach their own summits, they discover something much more valuable than success itself. They gain perspective, humility, and a deeper understanding of themselves. Standing at the top of a mountain reminds us not of how great we are, but of how much there is still to learn. Perhaps that is what meaningful education should ultimately cultivate.

The conference also gave me the opportunity to present my master's thesis through a Roundtable Discussion, a presentation format that was entirely new to me. Unlike traditional conference presentations, the roundtable transformed research into a conversation. Instead of presenting answers, I found myself exploring questions together with participants who openly challenged my assumptions, shared their own experiences, and enriched my thinking.

My presentation, Why Higher Education Often Separates Spiritual Identity and 21st Century Skills? emerged from a concern that many universities are becoming increasingly successful at developing graduates' competencies while paying less attention to the people those graduates are becoming. We often ask what skills students need for the future. Yet perhaps an equally important question is: Who are our students becoming?

In my research, I argue that higher education should not only equip students with critical thinking, communication, collaboration, and creativity, but should also create spaces where they can develop their spiritual intelligence, the capacity to draw upon meaning, values, morality, and existential reflection in navigating life. While this idea remains a proposition requiring further empirical investigation, I believe it offers one possible response to Isaac Asimov's timeless observation:

"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."

The discussions that followed my presentation reminded me that knowledge grows richer when it is shared. Every comment, question, and perspective helped me see my own research differently.

Beyond the formal sessions, many conversations left lasting impressions. One particularly memorable discussion was with a presenter from the National University of Singapore, who explained how lecturers are intentionally organized into cross-disciplinary learning communities where they regularly reflect on teaching, exchange practices, and continuously improve together. Even more inspiring was learning that these collective experiences have been developed into a forthcoming Routledge book, Making Learning-Centered Teaching Work in Asia and Beyond.

What touched me most, however, was not the book itself but the generosity behind their work. When I expressed my interest, they immediately offered to visit our institution, share their experiences, and even seek funding from their own university so that financial limitations would not become barriers to collaboration. That moment quietly changed the way I think about academic communities. Excellent universities do not simply produce excellent research. They cultivate generosity.

As I reflected on these experiences, I could not help comparing them with some of the realities I encounter in Indonesia through my work as an academic developer. Across conversations with colleagues from different universities, we often share similar concerns: sustaining genuine commitment to teaching enhancement remains challenging, and professional conversations about teaching are sometimes overshadowed by administrative responsibilities.

This experience strengthened my belief that Indonesia needs more academic communities like HERDSA, spaces where educators regularly learn from one another, exchange ideas across institutions, and collectively improve higher education. Such communities cannot eliminate every challenge, but they can nurture the culture necessary for meaningful and sustainable change.

Perhaps one of the most unexpected moments of this journey came even before the conference began. Receiving the HERDSA Student Conference Grant was something I never truly expected. Having recently graduated with a master's degree, I assumed the grant would naturally be awarded to outstanding PhD students with much stronger academic portfolios. I submitted my application with hope, but very little expectation. When I received the notification that I had been selected, my first feeling was not pride, it was gratitude.

Looking back, I realize that if I had convinced myself that I was "not qualified enough" and never applied, I would have missed one of the most transformative experiences of my academic life. Sometimes, opportunities arrive not because we feel ready, but because we choose to take the first step despite our doubts.

None of this would have been possible without God's grace. I am deeply grateful for every opportunity He has opened for me. I am equally thankful to my mentors at UIII, especially Dr. Destina, my thesis supervisor, and Dr. Bambang, whose continuous encouragement, and countless last-minute recommendation letters, made this journey possible.

As I left Singapore, I realized that I was bringing home much more than conference memories. I was bringing home a renewed vision of what higher education can become. A place where teaching is deeply human. Where research is built through dialogue. Where generosity matters as much as expertise. And where communities grow stronger because people choose to help one another succeed. More than anything else, HERDSA gave me something I had not expected to find. It gave me a sense of belonging.

I sincerely hope that my journey with HERDSA does not end with this conference. Instead, I hope it marks the beginning of a lifelong commitment to this remarkable community, one where I can continue learning, contributing, and perhaps one day, following the inspiring footsteps of many senior colleagues, become a HERDSA Fellow myself.

As one keynote speaker reminded us through John C. Maxwell's words:

"The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails."

After this week, I no longer want to wait for higher education to change. I simply want to become one of those who help adjust the sails.

 

 

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by Bambang Sumintono

UIII Did More Than Educate Me: It Transformed Who I Am

UIII Did More Than Educate Me: It Transformed Who I Am

By Ade Husna Aminudin

In the late 2014, after graduating from the University of Ez-Zitouna in Tunisia and returning to Indonesia, I came across some fascinating news in the Republika newspaper on the government's proposal to build the International Islamic University of Indonesia in Depok, West Java. Eight years later, the little whisper I made to myself at that time, that I would continue my degree at that university, became a reality.

Pursuing a doctoral degree has been one of the most meaningful chapters of my life. Looking back on the past several years, I realize that my PhD journey has never been only about earning the title of "Doctor." Rather, it has been a transformative process of becoming a better learner, researcher, educator, mother, and human being. Every challenge has shaped me, every setback has taught me resilience, and every achievement has reminded me that growth often happens outside our comfort zones.

When I first began my PhD at Universitas Islam Internasional Indonesia (UIII), I knew that I was not entering the program under ideal circumstances. Firstly, I was not a fresh graduate. There was a six-year gap between the completion of my master's degree and the beginning of my doctoral studies. During those years, life was filled with responsibilities, family commitments, teaching, and various professional experiences. Returning to academic life after such a long interval was both exciting and intimidating. The six-year gap did not diminish my passion for learning, but it certainly required me to readjust to academic life. I had to rebuild study habits that had long been dormant, familiarize myself with the latest research developments, and adapt to a rapidly changing academic environment. At times, I questioned whether I still possessed the ability to compete academically with younger students who had just completed their master's degrees. However, I gradually realized that academic maturity is not measured by how recently one graduated, but by one's willingness to continue learning. My previous experiences outside academia became valuable assets rather than disadvantages. They helped me appreciate knowledge from a broader perspective and allowed me to approach research with greater empathy and practical understanding.

Another challenge was language. English is the language of international academia and also the primary medium of instruction at UIII. Unfortunately, English has never been my strongest language. Throughout my educational and professional journey, Arabic has always been much more familiar to me than English. I studied in Arabic-speaking institutions and even taught Arabic both in schools and at the university level before beginning my doctoral studies. Reading Arabic texts, explaining Arabic grammar, and communicating in Arabic had become second nature to me.

In contrast, expressing complex academic ideas in English required tremendous effort. Reading journal articles often took me much longer than it did for my peers. Writing academic papers demanded countless revisions, dictionary consultations, and repeated proofreading. Presenting at seminars in English was initially intimidating, and there were moments when I doubted whether my language proficiency would ever be sufficient.

Nevertheless, I learned that effective communication is not about speaking flawless English but about conveying meaningful ideas with sincerity and clarity. Every presentation, every conference, every discussion with professors, and every academic paper became opportunities to improve. Rather than viewing my limited English proficiency as an obstacle, I came to regard it as a lifelong learning journey. In fact, towards the end of my PhD studies, I even got the opportunity to teach BIPA or Bahasa Indonesia untuk Penutur Asing and became one of the best BIPA instructors awarded by the UIII International Office, it was truly a valuable experience for me! Because at the beginning of my studies I was still stumbling with English, but in the end, I was able to teach foreign students in English. Today, I still believe there is much room for improvement, yet I am proud of how far I have progressed. More importantly, this experience has taught me humility, perseverance, and the courage to keep learning despite imperfections.

From Motherhood to Schoolarhood

Perhaps the greatest challenge throughout my PhD journey has been balancing academic responsibilities with family life. During my doctoral studies, I was not only a student. I was also a wife and, above all, a mother. Throughout these years, I raised five wonderful children. Remarkably, three of them were born while I was pursuing my PhD. Yes! I was accepted for my PhD while I was 7 months pregnant with my third child, and I was pregnant again, with twin baby as my fourth and fifth kids, in my third year of PhD studies.

Many people assume that motherhood and doctoral studies are incompatible. My experience has taught me otherwise. Certainly, balancing these responsibilities has never been easy. There were days filled with sleepless nights caring for newborn twin babies, followed by mornings attending seminars, preparing presentations, analyzing qualitative data, or revising dissertation chapters. There were moments when my children needed my attention while academic deadlines approached relentlessly. There were also times when exhaustion seemed overwhelming. Yet I have never considered my children to be obstacles to my education. Instead, they have been my greatest source of motivation. Every smile, every hug, and every small achievement they shared reminded me why perseverance matters. They inspired me to become someone who not only speaks about lifelong learning but also lives it.

Interestingly, doing a PhD in my point of view is like a source of happiness and emotional balance. Many people imagine that doctoral study only brings stress and fatigue. While those feelings certainly exist, my experience has been quite different. Going to campus, attending seminars, discussing ideas with friends and professors, conducting research, and writing my dissertation gave me a sense of intellectual fulfillment that positively influenced my personal life. Ironically, after spending long hours studying or conducting research, I often returned home with greater energy and appreciation for my family. Hugging my children after a productive academic day became one of the happiest moments of my life. Rather than making me emotionally distant from my family, my academic journey deepened my gratitude for them.

Sometimes I reflect that if I had simply stayed at home without pursuing my studies, I might have become more easily tired, emotionally overwhelmed, or mentally stagnant. Instead, my PhD journey challenged my mind while enriching my heart. It reminded me that personal growth and family life do not have to compete with each other. They can strengthen one another.

Of course, this journey has not been free from emotional struggles. Like many doctoral students, I have experienced burnout, frustration, self-doubt, overwhelming deadlines, and moments of feeling completely stuck. There were days when my research seemed to make no progress, when revisions felt endless, and when I questioned whether I was capable of finishing my dissertation. Those feelings reminded me of what Pak Bambang once said: “Learning is not fun, it should be hard. If it is fun, it means that it is not learning; it is playing." Furthermore, Prof. Emi Emilia said, "If you ever cry because of your PhD burdens, it means that you are a normal student.”

However, I eventually realized that such emotions are temporary. They are not signs of failure but natural parts of the doctoral experience. Every period of uncertainty was followed by renewed motivation. Every obstacle eventually became another lesson in patience. Every setback strengthened my resilience. Looking back, I am grateful not only for the successful moments but also for the difficult ones because they shaped my character far more profoundly.

Learning Beyond the Classroom

Another transformative aspect of my PhD journey was learning how to conduct rigorous academic research. Before entering UIII, I had very limited experience in qualitative field research. Concepts such as phenomenological inquiry, in-depth interviews, coding, and qualitative data analysis were entirely new to me. At first, I doubted whether I would ever be able to conduct a high-quality research project.

However, through rigorous coursework, continuous supervision, and abundant opportunities to practice, I gradually developed the knowledge and skills needed to conduct a sophisticated qualitative study. Looking back, I am amazed at how much I have grown, from someone with a very little research experience to a PhD holder capable of designing and conducting a complex field study. One of the proudest moments of my journey was being awarded a competitive research grant, which strengthened my confidence and motivated me to continue contributing to educational research.

Equally meaningful was the academic atmosphere at UIII. The learning environment consistently encouraged us to think critically, ask challenging questions, and engage in meaningful discussions rather than simply accepting existing ideas. Every class became a space where curiosity, reflection, and respectful dialogue were highly valued. This culture not only sharpened my critical thinking skills but also changed the way I approach knowledge and research.

The relationships I built with my lecturers and fellow doctoral students were another invaluable part of this journey. My lecturers were always supportive, approachable, and genuinely committed to helping students grow academically. Meanwhile, my classmates came from diverse academic and cultural backgrounds, making every discussion an opportunity to broaden my perspective. These interactions fostered a strong sense of learning, where we continuously inspired, challenged, and supported one another. For me, this academic community has been one of the greatest blessings of studying at UIII, and it will remain one of the most valuable experiences I carry into my future career.

Throughout this journey, I have been incredibly fortunate to study at Universitas Islam Internasional Indonesia. UIII has provided far more than academic courses. It has created an environment where curiosity is encouraged, diversity is celebrated, and academic excellence is continuously nurtured. One of the greatest blessings of studying at UIII has been the opportunity to participate in various national and international conferences. These experiences broadened my perspectives, introduced me to scholars from different countries, and allowed me to engage in meaningful academic conversations beyond the classroom. Every conference strengthened my confidence and demonstrated that knowledge grows through dialogue and collaboration across cultures.

UIII has also enabled me to build valuable academic networks with distinguished scholars, researchers, policymakers, and practitioners. These connections have enriched both my academic and personal development. They reminded me that research is not an isolated activity but a collective effort to contribute positively to society.

Above all, I am deeply grateful for the guidance of my honorable supervisors, Prof. Muhammad Zuhdi, Ph.D., and Dr. Andar Nubowo. Their patience, constructive criticism, encouragement, and unwavering commitment have been invaluable throughout my doctoral journey. They challenged me to think more critically, write more rigorously, and conduct research with integrity. Their mentorship has shaped not only my dissertation but also my identity as a researcher and educator. I sincerely believe that their guidance will continue to influence my academic career long after I complete this degree.

As I approach the completion of this chapter, I realize that the PhD has transformed me in ways I never anticipated. I entered the program hoping to gain knowledge. I leave with much more than knowledge. I have developed resilience, discipline, humility, intellectual curiosity, and a deeper appreciation for lifelong learning. Most importantly, I have learned that challenges should never be viewed as barriers but as opportunities to grow wiser. Every difficulty carried within it an invitation to become stronger. Every uncertainty encouraged deeper reflection. Every success became more meaningful because it was achieved through perseverance.

Although this PhD journey may soon come to an end, I sincerely hope that my learning journey will not. I aspire to continue contributing to society through education, research, community engagement, and intercultural dialogue. I hope to share not only my academic knowledge but also the values of resilience, compassion, and lifelong learning that this journey has instilled in me.

In fact, if I were ever given another opportunity to pursue a PhD in a different faculty at UIII, I would gladly embrace it without hesitation. Such is the depth of my appreciation for this university and the transformative environment it has provided. UIII has become more than an institution where I studied; it has become a place where I discovered new dimensions of myself, expanded my intellectual horizons, and built lifelong friendships and professional relationships.

Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude. I thank Allah, the Almighty, for every blessing, every challenge, every lesson, and every person He placed along my journey. I pray that Universitas Islam Internasional Indonesia will continue to flourish as a center of excellence, producing scholars who contribute meaningfully to humanity. May my respected lecturers, supervisors, classmates, staff members, friends, and everyone I have had the privilege to know during this journey always be blessed with good health, happiness, wisdom, and abundant rewards from Allah.

My PhD journey has taught me that education is not only about obtaining degrees. It is about continuously transforming ourselves so that we may contribute more meaningfully to others. And for that invaluable lesson, I will remain forever grateful.

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by Bambang Sumintono