The Process Was Not Easy, but I Did It: A Thesis Writing Journey as an Outsider

By Queen Salsabila

Writing a thesis is a final requirement for us, the last year students of Universitas Islam International Indonesia (UIII), to obtain our Master of Arts in Education degree. Writing it was not an easy task; we put our effort, spirit, and dedication into it. We all had our own struggles to finish it, and for me, doing it as an outsider made the journey even more challenging yet memorable. My thesis discusses the role of empathy as the mediator between the effect of collective teachers’ efficacy and school climate on the well-being of English teachers in the special region of Jakarta. As someone who was born, raised, and finished a bachelor’s degree in East Java, I had no personal connection with my field research site or its people when I began my research.

Some people may wonder why I did not make it easier by going to my hometown and doing the research there. However, after considering everything, particularly the uniqueness and diversity of culture in Jakarta, which will add special value for my research topic, I chose Jakarta as my research site. Thus, with that belief and support from my supervisors, I took the big risk of choosing Jakarta as my research site and put East Java as my second plan. This journey was full of self-doubt, fear, tears, and overthinking, but I kept going, believed that I would face it, and in the end, it was all worth it.

Along the way on this journey, despite all my doubts, I always believed that I could do it. At the first step, as an outsider, I had to build everything from scratch. In detail, because my research is quantitative, it requires a lot of participants. Thus, I began my journey by looking for any teacher who could help me become a research assistant. This process was not smooth, because my research participants are English teachers in Jakarta, I began by checking the Instagram account of the English Language Teachers Association (MGMP), but I could not find any active account. I continued my journey by asking some friends who became English teachers, through this way, I got one of the contacts of an English teacher, who is fortunately one of the treasures of MGMP in Pasar Minggu sub-district in South Jakarta. I went to her school to meet her and explain my research topic, and she agreed to be my research assistant.

Furthermore, to obtain legal permission, I went to the Jakarta Provincial Education Office to submit a research permit letter and request a research recommendation letter to conduct research in Jakarta. Eventough Jakarta is a province, buat actually it is a big metropolitan city, which also Indonesian capital. This process was going smoothly, and they were willing to help me in the process of data collection. Through this, my belief that I can complete this research has increased. However, this feeling did not last long. In the data collection process, it was hard for me to gain the data, even though I had already received help from my research assistant and the educational office to distribute my instrument. Realising that waiting would not help, I found another way. I am seeking help from a more impactful person in the field, who is the head of MGMP in DKI Jakarta, both in Junior and Senior High School. I met them to explain my research, my struggle, and to ask for help. During that meeting, I also got the contact number of the head of the School Principals’ work forum (MKKS), so I contacted and met him. Consequently, my data increased gradually.

Despite that, after weeks of waiting, I have not yet reached my target, while the submission deadline for finishing my research is approaching. A feeling of fear came over me, but I am not stopping here, I try another way. With the help of my best friend, Kak Nabila, I dedicated myself to taking a more direct approach. I visited several schools in person, and we went door to door around schools in Jakarta near Depok, waiting for hours to meet the teacher coordinator or principal. In this journey, I accepted both the warm welcome as well as some rejections. Continuing that, I did follow-ups every three days with the heads of the association, even joining their event to introduce myself, explain my research in the forum, and ask for their help to participate. I also contacted a hundred teachers. And finally, I meet my appropriate number of participants. This process taught me patience, humility, and empathy. I learned to respect every rejection and value the slow progress that builds my resilience.

More than that, the challenge is not stopping; the data analysis process is challenging, as is the data collection process. I made mistakes in my analysis, which led to repeating the analysis process. Here, I strive to continuously learn from my mistakes, which leads me to a deeper understanding about the research process and its analysis. From this journey, I believe that if there is a will, there will be a way. For someone who will follow my step, it will not be easy, but you should remember to be courageous, be persistent, never be tired of trying and learning, keep going even if it is a small step, and remember to believe that you can do it, while also having plan B. In the end, this journey not only shaped my research skills but also my character. It gave me valuable lessons that research could never teach. Lastly, thank you so much to everyone who helped me and supported me during this process, especially my supervisor, Assoc. Prof. Charyna Ayu Rizkyanti, PhD, who have always believed in me and guided me during this process. The Journey was not easy, but I made it.